Every relationship has areas that feel easy and areas that feel thin. This free relationship quiz helps you see which is which. Rate 14 short statements, and in about three minutes you will see how seven everyday areas of your relationship are doing, plus the one small routine that helps most with the weakest spot.
How the relationship check-up works
- 14 statements, 7 areas. Two statements each for connection, fun, fairness, conflict, intimacy, trust, and security.
- Answer for lately. Often, sometimes, or rarely, based on how things usually are right now, not on your best or worst day.
- See your results. A Couple Care score, a bar for each area, and the one or two areas to start with, each linked to a routine you can begin this week.
Your answers stay on your phone. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere.
Take it together, then compare
The check-up works on your own, but it is even better as a pair. Take it separately, then compare your bars. Partners often see the same relationship a little differently, and those differences are worth a gentle conversation.
A few ground rules for comparing:
- Curious, not defensive. “Tell me more about why you picked rarely” beats “That is not true.”
- One area at a time. Pick the area where you both scored lowest, and start there.
- Make it a ritual. Retake the check-up once a month as part of your Monthly Care layer, and watch the bars move.
The 7 areas and the routine for each
Here is everything the relationship quiz asks, and the matching routine for each area. Each routine is a small, repeatable ritual from your Couple Care Routine.
Connection
- We have at least one real conversation a day that is not about logistics.
- When I share something from my day, my partner turns toward it.
If this area scores low: The Turn-Toward Routine. Ten minutes a day that bring you back into each other's day, even when life is busy. Also helpful: Falling out of love, The bare minimum in a relationship.
Fun and novelty
- We still try new things together.
- We laugh together most weeks.
If this area scores low: The Roommate Reset. Five curious minutes a day and one small new experience a week, for couples who feel more like housemates. Also helpful: Micro-dates for busy days, Long distance relationship tips.
Fairness at home
- The work of running our life feels fairly shared.
- I rarely feel like the only one who notices and remembers everything.
If this area scores low: The Weekly Load Check. Fifteen minutes on a Sunday to make the invisible work visible and share it fairly.
Conflict and communication
- When we disagree, we can pause and come back to it calmly.
- After a fight, we make up within a day or so.
If this area scores low: The Repair Routine. A pause when things get hot, a repair talk within a day, and a daily stress talk that prevents the next fight. Also helpful: How to communicate without fighting, The Four Horsemen, Stonewalling.
Intimacy
- We share affection that does not have to lead anywhere.
- We can talk about our intimate life without it turning into a fight.
If this area scores low: Protected Intimacy Time. Daily affection with no strings and one protected evening a week, without pressure or quotas.
Trust
- I can count on my partner to do what they say they will do.
- I feel safe being honest with my partner.
If this area scores low: Trust Deposits. One small promise a day, kept and confirmed, plus a short weekly trust check-in.
Security
- I feel secure in our relationship most days.
- When we are apart, I can relax instead of worrying about us.
If this area scores low: The Reassurance Ritual. Predictable daily reassurance and a weekly worry window, so worry stops running the relationship.
Not sure where to start, or want a complete plan? The Routine Builder builds a full daily, weekly, and monthly routine around your schedule, and the Starter Routine gives you one default ritual for each layer. You can also browse all Couple Care Routines for common problems.
What this quiz is not
This check-up is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis. It cannot tell you whether your relationship is healthy or whether you should stay together. If there is abuse, fear, or contempt in your relationship, or distress that does not ease, please reach out to a licensed therapist or a local support service. If you ever feel unsafe, contact your local emergency number.
Common questions
What does the relationship quiz measure?
Seven everyday areas: connection, fun, fairness, conflict, intimacy, trust, and security. It shows which feel strong and which could use a small ritual.
Should we take it together?
You can take it alone, but taking it separately and comparing is a great way to start a conversation about what each of you needs.
How is it different from the Routine Builder?
The check-up shows which area needs care first. The Routine Builder builds your full daily, weekly, and monthly plan.